The Mercenaries
by Drunken Wanderer
Summary: A group much like the Teen Titans appear, with but one major glaring difference. They've no problem working for either good or evil. When the two groups face off, who will be the victor?
1. Enter The Mercenaries

The last of the guards moaned in pain before he passed out on the steel floor below. The tall, and extremely skinny, robot standing over him made a humming sound for several seconds before moving on. Whatever circuits the robot had were completely covered by the dark black steel that encased the robot's entire body, acting first and foremost as a sort of armor. The robot was completely human like; except for there was steel where flesh should have been and bright red lights instead of eyes. The robot's head was also rather oddly shaped, being more of an oval than an actual head. The creator must have found that particular design very amusing.

"Excellent job, as always Earl." Another figure whispered as he walked out of the shadows. This young man had blond hair and was dressed in an impeccable white suit that just radiated importance. The glasses that the man wore gave him a sort of intellectual aura, something he was never too fond of. Pushing his glasses back up his nose (he had always had a problem of them sliding downwards), the man surveyed the scene.

"Satisfaction guaranteed." Was the robot's response as it walked towards the center of the room. There both an old man and a young teenage woman waited, and next to them was a pile of plain metallic rods. At least they looked plain, in actuality the net worth of the pile was over a quarter million dollars. Not a bad haul.

"Come on you tin can! We ain't got all night!" Spat the young woman dressed in a tight black outfit with gold laces at the end of the cuffs and down the middle of the shirt. She claimed that not only did the outfit allow her ease of movement, but it also looked damn good.

"Patience is a virtue, young one." Spoke the aged man, who wore a much simpler outfit. Instead of anything remotely good-looking the old man wore simple blue robes that covered his entire body, save for his head that was covered with gray hair. The girl often pointed out that the man's long beard was very similar to that of Santa Claus, which was a never-ending source of enjoyment to the group.

"And taking too long will simply end up getting us arrested. This isn't exactly a legal business venture, you know?" Shot back the girl as she played with her long black hair. The old man paused and then nodded in agreement as he tiredly leaned against the staff he always carried with him. Much like his outfit, the staff was very plain, save for the bright blue jewel that sparkled at the head of the wooden staff.

"And I bet you would look simply dazzling in prison garb." Joked the blond man who had finished his scan of the room. The floor of the room was covered with various steel parts and wires, most of which had no doubt been used in the creation of the metal rods. Above lay a long catwalk spanning across the entire room, which was most likely used to supervise the workers as they toiled away. Now, only one man occupied the entire catwalk, and he was lazily sitting against the building's wall staring out the sole window into the night.

"But then again, you would say that she looked dazzling in any outfit. Wouldn't you pal?" Said the sitting man who had short brown hair and wore jet-black jeans and a shirt that had the exact same color. Over it all he wore a solid black trench coat, which was always unbuttoned. He was also the only one of the group to actually carry a visible weapon, which was a pistol strapped to his right leg. At least, it looked like a pistol when it was in its holster. The weapon quickly unfolded when drawn becoming more of a very short-barreled rifle that could be held with one hand. Plus the gun also had a grappling hook built into it as well as a knife. It was quite a piece of work.

"And you wouldn't Sheex? Naturally, your answer will determine your pay cut." The blond man joked with his friend, who cracked a sly grin in return. The leader of the group, namely the man doing the talking, was _very_ fond of the girl. She was also quite fond of him, but rarely admitted it. She enjoyed playing hard to get.

"Slayder, I think she would be dazzling in any outfit as well. However, I think she would be most dazzling in no outfit at all." Was Sheex's response. The entire group let out a chuckle (even the robot, Slayder had made sure to equip the thing with emotions) as Sheex went back to staring out the window and Slayder turned his attention back to the majority of the group.

"All right, enough chatter. Earl and Emi, gather up the rods. Athos, do whatever it is you do to get us out of here." The robot nodded in confirmation while the girl let out a sigh and moved towards the pile of metal before her. The old man also nodded, but he simply closed his eyes in deep concentration rather than head towards the metal.

"Why is it that we have to do all the work while Sheex just sits up there?" Asked Emi as her face began to change color. In the next instant the young woman vanished and was quickly replaced by a huge body builder easily three times her size. Being a shape-shifter had its advantageous.

"Hey! I'm working hard! I'm on guard duty!" Replied Sheex with a grin. With absolutely no powers to call his own, he had decided to leave the heavy lifting to those more suited to the task. Yet his powers of observations failed him, for he did not see Slayder's hand began to glow a bright white color. Had Sheex noticed that particular event, he would have been much more prepared for the bolt of energy that smashed into the wall next to him.

"Then you should be paying more attention. What if I was a guard? Or worse?" Slayder said with a grin as Sheex ran a hand through his nearly burnt hair. It was a good thing his friend was so accurate with his powers, otherwise Sheex would have gotten pissed. The man was very fond of his hair.

"What's worse than a guard?" Athos asked as he produced a small metallic device from his robe and laid it atop the now neatly stacked metal rods. Next, the aged man produced a small vial filled with green liquid and poured it into the device. Satisfied, Athos stood back up and directed his attention towards Sheex, who at this point was also standing up.

"How about a Titan?" Sheex responded as he leaned against the railing next to him. Emi quickly morphed back into her female self and stretched her arms out.

"Oh, I don't know. I think some of them are pretty cute." Emi said with a wink in Sheex's direction while Slayder began to mumble to himself. The entire group quickly fell silent when a somewhat high-pitched voice echoed through the dark room.

"Hear that Raven? She thinks I'm cute!" Said Beast Boy proudly as the room's sole door flung open and the Teen Titans walked into the light.


	2. A Philosophical Discussion Of Sorts

"She must have very poor taste." Muttered Raven as she glided past Beast Boy causing the young changeling's proud smile to quickly turn into a frown. The rest of the group ignored the two as Robin stepped forward to address the thieves.

"Haven't seen you guys around here before. Are you the new thugs in town?" Robin asked as he pulled out three disk shaped objects. Slayder stepped forward to answer, his hand glowing a bright white color once more.

"We're just visiting. Give us about fifteen more minutes and you won't ever see us again." Slayder responded coolly as Athos and Emi quickly appeared at his side. Earl remained motionless while Sheex slowly paced across the catwalk pondering the situation.

"I'm afraid we just can't do that. Do you guys have a name, or shall we just assume you're a bunch of street thugs?" Robin said as Cyborg's hand quickly morphed into his sonic cannon. The hostility level was escalating at a rapid pace, to say the least.

"Well, since you asked so nicely, it would be rude of me to not answer. My name is…" Before Slayder could finish his sentence, Sheex leapt down from the catwalk, landing right next to his friend. Holding up his hand, Sheex signaled for Slayder to stop talking.

"Wait a sec. If we answer that question, you have to answer mine." Sheex said with a sly grin on his face. Slayder wasn't sure what his friend was up to (neither was anyone else in the group), but he had known Sheex long enough to trust him. Slayder remained silent as Robin eyed Sheex coolly.

"Seems like this bad guy likes to talk before a fight." Cyborg observed from the side. Emi glanced over towards Cyborg with a sly smile on her face that could easily match Sheex's current smile.

"But the question is does anything intelligent ever come out of his mouth?" She joked as Slayder chuckled while Sheex kept his attention on the Titans.

"Oh, I assure you Emi, my question is not only intelligent but extremely interesting. I guarantee you'll find it amusing. So, do we have a deal Titans?" Sheex said as he held out his hand even though his foes were still a good ten feet away or so. It was the gesture that really mattered to him.

Robin crossed his arms and carefully weighed his options. He had no idea what the man before him was going to ask, but the identity of the criminals was just too important to pass up on. After all, if they managed to escape (an unlikely event in Robin's mind), knowing their names would help narrow down the search quite a lot. Plus Robin was also curious as to what the man would ask.

"It's a deal, but don't expect me to tell you our weaknesses." Robin said at last as Sheex smiled at him. Nodding at his friend, Sheex motioned for Slayder to continue his speech. Slayder paused for a moment as he eyed his friend, and then once again began to answer Robin's question.

"My name's Slayder. The good-looking girl is named Emi. The old guy is Athos, and the robot's name is AX-64, but we just call him Earl. The funny guy's named Sheex."

"He's not that funny." Raven said from behind Robin, causing Sheex to shake his head.

"Is she always this friendly?" Sheex asked as he took several steps forward, closing the distance between himself and the Titans. Beast Boy quickly did the same, walking right up to the approaching foe.

"Yeah, pretty much. I've been trying to get her to smile for I don't even know how long, and let me tell you it has not been an easy battle. Why just the other day I pulled this great prank on Cyborg and…" Beast Boy was quickly interrupted by the now screaming Cyborg behind him.

"Spray painting me purple while I'm asleep in _not_ a great prank you little grass stain!" Shouted Cyborg as Beast Boy let out a chuckle and Sheex raised an eyebrow.

"Friend Cyborg, is there a problem with the color purple?" Asked Starfire as she looked at her own outfit, which was her usual purple one. Cyborg quickly stopped shouting and turned to face his friend.

"Er, no, not really. It just doesn't bring out the color of my eyes."

"There are clothes that remove the color from your eyes? I did not know Earth had such dangers! Robin, we should investigate this matter immediately!" Starfire yelled as several people (mostly from Slayder's group) stared at the young Tamaranian.

"Is she, actually serious?" Asked Emi as Cyborg gave her a quick nod. Robin thought about explaining what Cyborg had actually meant, but he figured one of his other team members would deal with it. Instead, Robin focused his attention on Sheex.

"If you're going to ask a question, do it now." Robin ordered Sheex, who nodded in agreement.

"Right, the question I have for you is this." Sheex paused for dramatic effect. As soon as he was sure all eyes were on him, he cracked his usual sly smile and pointed at the Titans.

"Who do you guys think is the best looking girl in the room?"

Raven and Athos shook their heads, Cyborg and Slayder let out a laugh, Emi gave Sheex a harsh glare, and Beast Boy fell to the floor in a hysterical fit. Sheex figured he and Beast Boy would get along well if the green changeling was always this easy going.

"You're joking, right?" Robin said as he raised his eyebrows.

"Trust me, Sheex is _not_ joking. I assure you, he's always completely serious when it comes to matters as delicate as these." Slayder said as he crossed his arms with a wide smile on his face. Emi quickly elbowed him in the ribs.

"Delicate he says! I thought you said you had an interesting question Sheex." Emi said as Slayder rubbed his side. Not only was the girl sarcastic, she was slightly violent.

"It's very interesting! Come on, don't you wanna know how you rank against the babe in the mini-skirt?" Sheex said as he jerked his thumb in the direction of Starfire, who gave Sheex a quizzical look. Emi hesitated for a moment, and then let a small smile of her own cross her face. She was a little interested.

"Pardon me, but why are you calling me a babe? I am old enough to speak and walk, does this not qualify me as an adult?" Asked Starfire as she flew over to Sheex, who scratched his head when he realized the Tamaranian was not quite fluent in earth slang.

"Under that context babe means good-looking my dear Titan."

"I see. And you wish to know who is the best looking among the three of us?"

"Pretty much. Well, I wanted the guys' opinion. You really shouldn't vote when you're on the ballot, right?"

Starfire nodded in agreement (Sheex was pretty sure sh ehad no idea what he meant) as Robin stared blankly at Sheex. Cyborg and Beast Boy quickly broke the silence by running over towards Robin and hassling him.

"Yeah, come on Robin. Who do you think is the best looking girl?" Cyborg said with a laugh as Beast Boy quickly moved Starfire into Robin's line of sight.

"You gave your word Robin. Choose carefully." Beast Boy said as he pointed towards Starfire, who was intently staring at Robin. Robin swallowed deeply when he realized he was quite trapped. He had in fact given his word, which was something he did not enjoy breaking.

"Starfire." Robin finally answered, causing Starfire to jump for joy with his vote of confidence, as well as give Robin one of her famous hugs. Robin's face was a mixture of both joy and pain as he felt Starfire against him (a good thing) crushing him in a death grip (not such a good thing).

"Figures you'd say that. Guess all that talk of you two having a thing for each other wasn't so far off at all." Sheex said with a chuckle as he walked back to where Slayder and the rest of his friends waited. Robin would have responded to that remark, but he was too busy recovering from the Tamaranian's death grip.

"Hold up Sheex. They asked for all our names, so I think it's fair to ask for all of their opinions." Slayder said with a wicked grin of his own. Not only was this little spectacle buying them time, but it was also extremely entertaining.

"Villains sure are immature these days." Raven said softly, but Sheex heard it anyway.

"Hey now, this is a very mature topic if you ask me! And no fair hiding behind the cloak of yours, I think it would be more fair if the contestants got to see your face." Sheex responded, only to have Raven glare at him. If it wasn't for Beast Boy's quick thinking, Raven would have kept her face hidden.

"See, there ya go!" Beast Boy yelled as he yanked off the hood that cloaked Raven's face. He earned a nice magical blast for his efforts, as well as an applause from Sheex.

"Not bad at all. Don't see why you had to blast your friend though." Sheex said as Beast Boy stood back up, stumbling slightly as he did so. Nevertheless, he gave Sheex a thumb up sign after several seconds.

"She does it all the time. He should be use to it by now. Anyways, I vote for that Emi girl." Cyborg said, causing a few raised eyebrows.

"Dude. Talk about going over to the enemy." Beast Boy said as Emi walked forward and gave Cyborg a smile.

"Finally, a Titan with some class. I like you." Emi said in a slightly seductive tone, causing the human side of Cyborg to blush slightly. Sheex contained his amusement and looked at Beast Boy. It was his turn next. The green human glanced about the room for several minutes, carefully considering his options, before he responded with a triumphant smile.

"I vote for Raven." Beast Boy said proudly, causing an approving look from Cyborg and Robin, as well as a very stunned look from Raven.

"Really?" She said softly, allowing the slightest bit of interest to creep into her voice. Sheex just through his arms up in the air and paced back and force.

"Well that doesn't solve anything at all! Every girl got a vote! Hey, Slayder! Who do you think…" Before Sheex could even finish his statement, Slayder grabbed Emi and pulled her close.

"Emi." Said Slayder, receiving a smile and a small hug for his reward. Sheex just shook his head.

"Your as predictable as the Boy Wonder. Earl, er, I guess no one bothered to install a hotness chip into you so you won't be much help. I promise to remedy that particular problem when we get back though. Hey, Athos…" Once again, Sheex was interrupted.

"Don't you think I'm a little old to participate in such a teenage game?" Athos asked, causing Sheex to think for a moment. Eventually, he found an answer to Athos question.

"Well, under normal circumstances I'd say yes. But this is, you know, a philosophical discussion. Sort of. Kinda. In a way. Not really. Just give me an answer old man." Athos stared at Sheex for a few more seconds, and then turned his attention towards the Titans.

"The Tamaranian." Sheex sighed and shook his head. This wasn't solving anything.

"Aren't you going to vote Sheex?" Slayder asked with a smile on his face. Cyborg and Beast Boy also began to taunt Sheex as well.

"Yeah. You gotta play too." Cyborg said.

"Come on. Solve the greatest question of them all for us Sheex." Beast Boy chimed in.

"I'm afraid I can't. I vote for Raven. It's a three-way tie." Sheex said as Emi quickly ran over and gave him a shove. She had expected him to vote for her.

"RAVEN? I mean, I could understand the old guy not voting for me, he's way behind in the times! But I always thought you were a man of taste! Of class! What's the deal Sheex?" Emi said as Sheex quickly regained his balance. He simply shrugged his shoulders.

"Sorry Emi. She's just got this whole mysterious factor. It's just…hot I guess would be the best term." Disappointed, Emi slumped her shoulders and walked back over towards Slayder, mumbling all the while.

"Well, thank you for that interesting topic of conversation Sheex. Now then, shall we?" Slayder said as Sheex walked over towards the rest of his group. As one, the entire group of thieves turned their attention towards the Titans, who at this time were already lined up and ready to fight.

"Titans, go!" Robin shouted as the group spilt up.

"Mercs, let's take em!" Slayder shouted as his group did the same.


End file.
